An apology for Transformers: Age of Extinction

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I fell the need to apologise. I have been part of a  problem for a long time and I need to explain.

I have paid money to watch the last three Transformers films. I have allowed Michael Bay to make more. I have contributed to the colossal amount of dollars that the three predecessors have generated and in doing so have encouraged and, in a very minor way, funded Age of Extinction.

The first film wasn’t horrendous as a franchise set up and we all knew that sequels were inevitable but then something happened. The films became more and more of a problem. They completely  lost any notion of story and became simply a series of explosions followed by a lustful and distasteful camera shot of who ever the female ‘love interest’ was.

I still can’t tell you what the first sequel (2009’s Transformers :Revenge of the Fallen) was about and I’m not convinced anyone involved in its production could tell you either.

However I kept going back for more and it is sadly inevitable that I will at some point catch a screening of Age of Extinction.

Around 8 or 9 years of age Transformers became an all-consuming thing for my peers and I. We all had action figures, lunch boxes, watched the cartoons (I have them all on DVD in a collectors tin and yes I am proud of that), we quoted the animated movie over and over again. School holidays couldn’t end quickly enough to get back into school and see who got what Transformer for Christmas (I never did get a Soundwave figure and I’m still a bit bitter). Hours were spent constructing stories, battles, perfecting the transforming noise they all made.

I know I have contributed to something that is now seen by many as crash bang wallop cinema with pornographic tendencies and by doing so I only encourage them to make more. I fully understand and appreciate that argument. However, my inner child finds the pull of these familiar figures irresistible.

The child that spent hours playing with mini action figures on his bedroom floor still believes in those characters.

Those characters brought my friends and I great joy in a time when  our lives were simpler without the cares, worries, frustrations of our  present selves. They caused us to imagine worlds where anything was possible, where limitations meant nothing.

I keep going back because I want to believe in those characters again and I want to regain the mindset of my 8 year old self. Anything is possible, there are no limitations.

I apologise in advance for Transformers 5.

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